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Tapping Into Love: Using EFT to Cultivate Self-Compassion

Writer's picture: Laura TolbertLaura Tolbert


When life feels overwhelming, and self-criticism becomes second nature, finding tools to reconnect with your inner self is essential. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), often referred to as tapping, is a simple yet transformative practice that combines mindfulness and acupressure to release negative emotions and foster self-love. Let’s explore how EFT can help you cultivate self-compassion and embrace the love within.


What Is EFT and How Does It Work?

EFT is a holistic healing technique that combines elements of cognitive therapy with acupressure. Developed by Gary Craig in the 1990s, EFT is based on the idea that negative emotions are linked to disruptions in the body’s energy system. By tapping on specific meridian points—the same energy points targeted in acupuncture—while focusing on emotional challenges, EFT aims to rebalance the body’s energy and alleviate emotional distress.

The process involves two main components:

  1. Tapping: Using your fingertips, you tap gently on a sequence of acupressure points on the face, chest, and hands.

  2. Verbalization: While tapping, you articulate the problem or emotion you’re addressing, followed by affirmations of self-acceptance.

Research has shown EFT to be effective in reducing symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD, making it a versatile tool for emotional healing and self-improvement.


Why EFT Is Effective for Self-Compassion

For many, self-compassion can feel elusive due to ingrained negative patterns or experiences. EFT offers a way to:

  • Break the Cycle of Negative Self-Talk: Tapping disrupts the loop of self-criticism, creating space for affirming thoughts.

  • Address Underlying Emotional Blocks: By focusing on the emotions behind self-doubt or guilt, EFT helps release their hold on you.

  • Foster a Calmer Mindset: The process reduces cortisol levels, making it easier to approach yourself with kindness and understanding.


How to Practice EFT for Self-Love

Here’s a step-by-step guide to get started:

1. Identify the Issue

  • Think about a specific area where you’re hard on yourself. For example: “I feel unworthy of love” or “I’m too critical of my mistakes.”

2. Create a Setup Statement

  • This statement acknowledges your emotions while opening the door to self-acceptance. For example: “Even though I feel unworthy of love, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

3. Start Tapping

  • Use your fingertips to tap gently on the following points, repeating the setup statement or a short phrase like “I am worthy of love” at each point:

    1. Eyebrow (inner edge, near the nose)

    2. Side of the Eye (on the bone)

    3. Under the Eye (on the cheekbone)

    4. Under the Nose (between the nose and upper lip)

    5. Chin (below the lower lip)

    6. Collarbone (just below the collarbone)

    7. Under the Arm (about 4 inches below the armpit)

    8. Top of the Head (crown of the head)

4. Focus on Your Feelings

  • As you tap, allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with the issue. You might notice shifts in intensity or new thoughts arising—this is part of the healing process.

5. Repeat Positive Affirmations

  • After a few rounds, shift your focus to positive affirmations. For example:

    • “I am learning to love and accept myself.”

    • “I release the need for perfection.”

    • “I deserve kindness, from myself and others.”

6. Reflect and Repeat

  • After tapping, take a moment to reflect on how you feel. Repeat the process as needed to deepen your self-compassion.


Incorporating EFT into Your Routine

  1. Morning Affirmations: Begin your day with 5 minutes of tapping to set a positive tone.

  2. Stressful Moments: Use EFT to calm yourself during challenging situations.

  3. Evening Reflection: Tap before bed to release any self-critical thoughts and end the day with gratitude.


Many transformational seekers have experienced profound shifts through EFT. For example, a woman struggling with self-doubt after a career change used EFT daily for a month. Over time, she noticed a significant increase in her confidence and self-compassion, which allowed her to approach her new role with ease and joy.

Research supports these anecdotes. Studies published in The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease and Energy Psychology: Theory, Research, and Treatment highlight EFT’s effectiveness in reducing emotional distress, improving self-regulation, and fostering a sense of well-being.


EFT is a gentle yet powerful way to nurture self-love and compassion. By addressing the emotional barriers that hold you back, you can create a deeper connection with yourself and embrace the joy and fulfillment you deserve. Take a moment today to try tapping and remind yourself: I am worthy of love and kindness—from myself and others.


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